Do you suspect you may have a "cornucopia kid"? Here are some warning signs that your child may be in the danger zone.

• On an outing to the mall you buy your two-year-old candy or a toy as a payoff to keep him from crying.

• Your preschooler has already been on a cruise or stayed in an expensive resort.

• Your middle school daughter regularly gets her nails done.

• There's never a quiet moment in your home because the television or stereo are always blaring, and a battle ensues if you try to turn them off.

• The new bike your son got for his birthday was left out in the rain the very first day. This is the same child who routinely loses critical pieces to puzzles and games. He's learned that what's lost or broken is magically replaced.

• At a very early age your child began a collection of dolls, stuffed animals or action figures, and you feel it's your responsibility to support the collection by buying up every new one that comes out. You convince yourself that it's an "investment."

• You personally do without new towels or a trip to the hairdresser to buy your daughter an outrageously prices pair of jeans, sneakers or prom dress.

• Grounding is a joke because your son's room is a virtual amusement park complete with telephone, stereo and computer.

The good news is that it's possible to turn things around even as late as the teen years. Here are some immediate steps parents can take:

• Establish expected behavior before you go in a grocery story or mall, and remove your child immediately when misbehavior ensues. Don't fall into the trap of "paying" for good behavior.

• Give age-appropriate work responsibilities beginning in the preschool years. A 2-year-old can put his pajamas away and pick up his toys. A 4-year-old can help load the dishwasher.

• Collections are fine as long as they're fun and a shared activity. You'll know that the collection is controlling you when you feel you "should" buy up every one in sight.

• Don't give too many freebies. Getting too much for too little effort diminishes motivation. Create the link for your child between effort and reward. And when your child demands something you can't afford, don't hesitate to say, "We can't afford it!"

• Don't hurry to replace what your child has lost or broken. Learning to wait is a valuable lesson.

• Limit TV time. Relying on external stimulation to entertain suppresses the imagination. Active learners are found on their bikes, on the playground or in the library, not glued to the television.

• Limit computer time. Too much time online puts children at risk for eye strain, stress injuries and obesity. Spending time in a chat room is a poor substitute for spending time talking with friends.

• Simplify birthdays and holidays. Limit the number of gifts your child receives. Put the emphasis on sharing activities together such as a trip to a water park or planetarium.

• Teach your child to share with others. Together, choose outgrown clothes and no longer used games and toys to pass on to another child. A good practice is to let go of something old before something new is acquired, for example, just before a birthday.

With a strategy and a little bit of determination, you can corral your "cornucopia kid."

© 2004 Lauren Bradway, Ph.D.